Chapter 5

Through the years my family was keeping me close by, if not physically, then mentally and emotionally. I needed to break away I felt but didn't know how. Work kept me very busy through the years. In fact I worked every holiday for nine years. I really didn't care because the money was good and I got to spend enough time at family functions anyway. And surprisingly enough too, I kept in touch with my friends; my straight friends mostly, at the time. That is before my partner and I got together.

Even in my relationship which was good I was searching for something. I soon lost most interest in sex. I felt I had enough sex with men to last me a lifetime. Work was hectic and I soon lost all interest. We, however, maintained a good relationship.

When she and I got together we moved into my condo, then about six years later, we bought a log home which was very fun but came at a price with high taxes and expensive maintenance. So after five years we sold it and moved back into the condo which I had rented out through a management agency.

Through the years I continued to run, bicycle and work out except for a short time when I turned very butch for some reason cropping my hair, gaining weight, and buying from the men's section of the store. I have no idea why. I guess I was trying to find my niche. However, I grew ever uncomfortable and my feminine side wanted to emerge once again.